Fighting German Cockroaches. Searching for an Exit Strategy .

While I was eating BBQ in Memphis, TN from April through August, a platoon of Blattella germanica (German cockroaches ) infiltrated my kitchen and established headquarters in the vicinity of my dishwasher and telephone. According to a scientific graph of the exponential reproductive capacity of the German Cockroach, there should be fewer than one-million of these squatters since I was only gone for four-months. Whew.

Upon returning from Memphis by way of Atlanta (Hurricane Charley, the first of four this year), the nasty German bastards were everywhere. Lots of cockroach poop (looks like coffee grounds or coarsely ground black pepper) and carcasses were scattered everywhere (cockroaches are cannibals). I emptied cupboards, I sprayed, I bombed, I scattered boric acid along the floorboards. The results were impressive - the ugly creatures made themselves pretty scarce.

But, the helpful person at Strosniders Hardware said that I needed to prepare for a long term battle as future broods would hatch and attempt to regroup. So, before leaving for more hurricane madness, I set out more poison and upon my return on 30 September, carcasses of little baby german roaches were scattered about and some evidence of additional cockroach poop.

On 1 October, I had trouble connecting to the Internet via my dial-up modem (I know, 40 Kbps sucks, but I'm cheap). After spending quality time with Verizon's voice automated helpline, I disconnected the wall-mounted cordless phone-set in the kitchen to see if that was the component that was creating fuzz on my phoneline.

Well, a motherload of Blatella germanica poop came flying out the back end of the phone. The German bastards had probably been munching on the wires and circuits - which probably explained why I was having trouble turning up the volume and clearly hearing messages left on the answering machine.

Anyways, I've sprayed more poison in cracks and crevices but my phoneline goes in and out with fuzz. I can't be sure if the German bastards have done more damage to the phone wiring inside my house or if it's some other fluky problem.

At this point, any exit strategy must be coupled with a decisive victory that means nothing less than complete annihilation of the German cockroaches.

And, since I'm moving in a few months, I'm not going to replace the phone/answering machine in the kitchen.